Billies

Billy is my favorite client. He is a late 40s to early 50s White male. He has been smoking most of his life. He started drinking at 8, sneaking beer from his dad's fridge. Billy looks older than he actually is, with his short, bespectacled image starting at you from across the table. He is missing most of his teeth as bad habits have left him mostly toothless.  He pushes asphalt for a living. He calls me "Pretty Boy". He lives with his brother and has to attend our anger management classes for at least 15 sessions. His voice is sharp and snappy. 

"Billy, can you remind us what led you to be in this program?", my internship boss Ed asks. 

"I came home to the motel and my door was open. My old woman was in the room drinking with some White girl, smoking dope. So I went off on them. I've been sober less than 5 months and they do this? What do they want? Trying to send me back to jail? So I start to hollerin and someone calls the cops and here I am." 

He is one of many clients I am seeing at my internship. I am really enjoying myself! Its scary sometimes but the interactions with the various "Billies" make it better. I am really putting myself out of my comfort zone to be there. Its living, man! :)

I Love/Hate Chicago

Jesus was way, way ahead of his time. Either that or the human experience hasn't really changed that much in 2,000 years. Probably a combination of both. In the parable of the prodigal son Jesus tells the story of a young man who asked his dad for his inheritance and then went to the city and blew it all. I can relate to that young man. The big city has its attractions. For me the city is Chicago. There are more things to do in that dumb city than I could do in an entire lifetime. There are: coffee shops, comic shops,

record stores, restaurants, comedy clubs, improv clubs, sports teams, art galleries, art museums, history museums, kids museums, Wait Wait Don't Tell Me, and amazing city parks. There are so many amazing things to do there that I feel guilty for NOT going and participating as much I can. I mean its right there. But thats ok. I'll see what I see and do what I do. Thats ok.

What I've Worked For

Today was a good day. A great day. I will probably remember it for a while. It ranks up there with the day I finished my final class of undergrad at Southern. First off, the weather was AMAZING! Honestly the best weather we've had this year. Possibly the best for the entire year. It was one of those temperatures that is neither hot nor cold but is just right. The sun was out and nature was celebrating.

It wasn't because of that.

It was because today I achieved what I have been working at for the last 5 years. Today I discharged my first counseling client. The client was in the population that I want to reach most. I have been affected by the same thing that my client was there to see me for
. During our final session, my client told me that they were feeling a lot better than when they came in. They worried less about their presenting problem and more about regular life worries. "I can finally walk down the street.", my client confided.

I finished the final meeting, went into the ACCC group room and sat. I accomplished what I set out to do all those lifetimes ago. Majuro Scott would be proud. I am proud. And so is my girlfriend. She gave me a kiss and that made it that much better. Freud would probably not care though.

2012

Its been a good year. A good year.

Facebook, love it or hate it, has this app where it hows your top events for this year. I clicked on it, not thinking much would come from it. I was wrong. This year has been great! I've done so much! I've lived. I've been embarrassed. I've really, really gotten out of my comfort zone. I've learned, loved, laughed.

This year three of my best friends have gotten married to the women of their dreams.

This year I went to a completely new school in MI. In the snow.

This year I went and saw the USA stomp all over Scotland in Jacksonville.

This year I ran a half marathon and almost 500 total miles.

This year I started doing improv again.

This year I voted.

This year I visited my best friend at his new grown up home in DC. I can't stress what a big change that was.

This year I saw August Burns Red, MewithoutYou, and Matt and Kim live.

This year my dog had puppies and made me a grandpa.

This year I got a new job.

This year I started graduate school.

This year I'm going to see the Hobbit with good friend Nick Clough.

This year I worked at camp for a week AND I went to Wizard Quest!

This year I presented at a professional conference.

This year I began leading a Pathfinder group.

Its been a big year. :)

Just like heaven

I've always had such wild ideas for what Heaven would be like. Flying on Eagles, diving from the Tree of Life, having a monkey butler are all plans I have. Good plans but maybe not the best part. I think the best part of Heaven will be the friends. The family. All united. No longer spread apart by ugly miles or death or messed up situations.

I had a little experience of what I believe Heaven will be like this July. It was my friend Lemmy's wedding. He was getting hitched to the fabulous Nicole Ley in a beautiful church in Chattanooga, Tennesee. All my highschool friends were back together for the first time in years. It was amazing. I haven't been so excited or anxious about a coming event since, well, ever.

Nathan came down from Maryland, Nick and Jeff from stupid California, Kyle from Georgia, Lemmy from Ohio, me from Michigan. 

I was afraid that we would be awkward around each other. That we wouldn't get along as well as we used to. But that wasn't the case at all! I picked up Nick from the airport and it was like nothing had changed. We just kept on chatting it up like we had been together the day before.

Throughout the weekend there was a general feeling of happiness and peace. Just like Heaven. 

On creativity

"...and some how we've completely internalized and accepted collectively, this notion that creativity and suffering are some how inherently linked and that artistry, in the end, will always, ultimately lead to anguish and the question that I want to ask everybody today here is, um, are you guys all cool with that idea? Like, are you comfortable with that?" - Elizabeth Gilbert

Soooo true! One of the various reason's I've put off writing a new blog is because I am afraid of the mental pain and inevitable anguish that will go along with the putting out of something new. I guess I was a little sheepish about returning. Truthfully though, the best writing I've done (in my opinion) came in times of joy or periods of contentedness. It flowed from me. It wasn't a painful, terrible process.

Thanks Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat Pray Love. I never thought I'd be inspired by you but I've been proven wrong.

Gardening

Gardening. I like it. Its relaxing, its rewarding, and when your all done you (hopefully) get free vegetables, fruits, herbs, and flowers. For as long as I can remember my family has had a garden. When I was little I would help my dad plant ours. My brother Adam and I were given our own rows to plant whatever we wanted. I remember going out to the garden every morning to see if any sprouts had come up and feeling super proud when I saw the first shoots peeking out of the soil.

Whenever I think about the home I'll have in the future, there is always a garden there. I imagine going out and hoeing and weeding after a long day at work, slowly feeling the stress melt away. This is a romantic idea I admit, but its a nice to think about.

In all truth gardening is a lot harder than in my daydream. I've been working in our garden for the last few weeks. The dew-kissed plants, branches sagging with vegetables of my dreams has been replaced with scrawny plants, weed yanking, bug killing, spraying, and constant surveillance. Today I sprayed half the garden for bugs (goodbye organic) and hoed several rows. This is the first time its only been my mom and me working the garden and against all odds its succeeding. We've already harvested several buckets of green beans, some squash, and a pepper. Last night we had squash from our garden for supper. I'll update the blog as we get more.